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 The Docile army of sheep (I'll take the pointy stick, thanks)

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Firebird

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Posts : 190
Join date : 2009-05-07
Age : 36
Location : Scotland

PostSubject: The Docile army of sheep (I'll take the pointy stick, thanks)   Wed 30 Dec 2009, 11:55 pm

I'm in the Lord's Army

(to the tune of 'The Old Grey Mare') Actions are in brackets.

I may never march in the Infantry, (march)
Ride with the cavalry, (pretend you're riding a horse)
Shoot the artillery. (pretend to bust out with a machine-gun)
I may never zoom o'er the enemy, (spread arms out and pretend to be a plane)
But I'm in the Lord's Army. (point bits of yourself in God's general direction)
I'm in the Lord's Army, (yes, sir!) (salute)
I'm in the Lord's Army, (yes, sir!)
I may never march in the Infantry,
Ride with the cavalry,
Shoot the artillery.
I may never zoom o'er the enemy,
But I'm in the Lord's Army, (yes, sir!)


____________________________


They would make me sing this song - both at Sunday School (which i NEVER went to voluntarily) , and at Christian Endeavour Camp (which was, quite frankly, barking mad)... but it never made much sense to me.

The Christian religion constantly harasses children, teaching them to fester away with all sorts of bent anxieties and hangups ... one of these is that Satan and his minions are constantly
(A) sneaking into human ranks, disguised as humans - maybe (probably ?!) even our loved ones !
(B) Spreading sneaky pro-satan propaganda about the place, you know... like, "Satan Tracts". ,
and also (C) they know that that young children are easily corrupted - not least of all because they are small, rubbish, infinitely inferior to the rest of the planet's occupants, and sinning little wretches who are just gagging to be normal like the other evil little bastards their age.

... that being the case, would it be TOO much to ask for the Taser of Righteousness to give Satan one in the bollocks with !?

Or like, the Pointy Stick of Holiness to poke his eyes out with and give those kids a running chance... ?

It's like God is scared of a law suit, or something....
Like, if the lawyers descend he can claim the kids aren't "an army", because an army is , by definition, warmongering.... and surely weaponless children (they don't even have a horse !) can't be considered "an army"...

Also, any unarmed damage to Satan and his goons probably wouldn't leave a long-term mark... by the time they got a netherworld doctor out, the evidence would be long gone.

I for one know that nowadays, if Satan comes for me... at least I'm prepared, with my pre-orded spiritual AK-47 (off Ebay, it's amazing what you can get...) and Mithril Armour (RPGs plus 3D-Printer Technology = Mithril armour on demand)

Very Happy Great stuff !
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